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Depression and Divorce
“I want a divorce.” Those are four words most married people
don’t want to hear from their partner. The range of emotions that happen can
include anger, sadness, confusion, denial and depression. When those four life
changing words are spoken the first thing we do is ask why? Then we try
everything we can to fix the problem, even if our partner just wants out.
Sometimes the relationship can be salvaged, but if it can’t, dealing with the
emotional aftermath can be extremely difficult for everyone involved.
People going through a divorce spend the beginning of the process wondering what
went wrong. For everyone the circumstances will be different, but most people
second guess themselves and ask if and why the divorce may be their fault. This
can lead to feelings of self-doubt, particularly if they place all of the blame
on their own shoulders. If they do that then depression is very likely to set in
because very few people can carry that type of burden and continue to live a
normal life. Totally blaming ones self for a divorce is very seldom a realistic
approach to take. A divorce is about two people, not just one, and both parties
are equally to blame.
If you can take the approach that you only share 50% of the blame then maybe
something good can come out a seemingly bad situation. Once the realization that
both parties share equal responsibility then one can begin to look for ways to
not only learn from the experience but they can also grow as a person.
Ultimately it will take time to heal after a divorce. The best advice anyone can
give someone going through a divorce is to learn from the experience, as
depressing as it may be. Know that the emotions of a divorce are very real and
that most people will suffer from depression during this time. It happens to
everyone who goes through an emotional roller-coaster of any type.
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